Hungry.
by Kelsi Martin on Monday, February 6, 2012 at 7:19pm
I was hungry for affection
desperate for perfection
and crippled by rejection.
So then it began.
It molded my thoughts
It attacked my body
It became dictator
planning to kill me.
From my mind came lies.
From my eyes came tears.
From my stomach came cries,
a few weeks turned to years.
Who was I?
What happend?
Where did I go?
When did I give up?
Why was i dying?
What did i do?
Why me?
Was i bad?
Did i not believe?
I had a dream,
I saw him.
I heard him.
I felt him.
I was perfect.
Darkness became light,
lonliness became gratefullness,
imperfection became wholeness,
hunger became fullness.
For a long time i was defined in my body,
i was defined by consumption,
i was defined by control,
or i was defined by satan,
BUT I HAVE A GOD.
A God who saves me,
over and over again.
A God who gives to me,
over and over again.
A God who does not forsake me,
but holds me.
I have a God that turned that darkness into light,
turned the lonliness to gratefullness,
the imperfection to wholeness.
I'm still hungry,
but for HIM.
Food?
God is what fills me.
I can never be starved again.
-- Im aware that this is messy and structure-less, but it is my thoughts. I wrote this for someone who is like a sister to me and i love her so much. I want her to know we all go through trials, we all go throught "the hardest times of our lives". But sometimes we forget that it could be just a tad bit easier if we werent fighting alone, If we werent pushing away the most powerful fighter of all, GOD.
This writing was about one of the "hardest times" that i went through. At the time (years ago) i felt like that was the end for me, but look where im at now? I'm the happiest i have ever been, I'm SO close to God, and im still alive. There is hope in every situation.
Hopelessness only means your putting God in a box, your limiting his POWER. It means that you do not think he can do the impossible. He can.
desperate for perfection
and crippled by rejection.
So then it began.
It molded my thoughts
It attacked my body
It became dictator
planning to kill me.
From my mind came lies.
From my eyes came tears.
From my stomach came cries,
a few weeks turned to years.
Who was I?
What happend?
Where did I go?
When did I give up?
Why was i dying?
What did i do?
Why me?
Was i bad?
Did i not believe?
I had a dream,
I saw him.
I heard him.
I felt him.
I was perfect.
Darkness became light,
lonliness became gratefullness,
imperfection became wholeness,
hunger became fullness.
For a long time i was defined in my body,
i was defined by consumption,
i was defined by control,
or i was defined by satan,
BUT I HAVE A GOD.
A God who saves me,
over and over again.
A God who gives to me,
over and over again.
A God who does not forsake me,
but holds me.
I have a God that turned that darkness into light,
turned the lonliness to gratefullness,
the imperfection to wholeness.
I'm still hungry,
but for HIM.
Food?
God is what fills me.
I can never be starved again.
-- Im aware that this is messy and structure-less, but it is my thoughts. I wrote this for someone who is like a sister to me and i love her so much. I want her to know we all go through trials, we all go throught "the hardest times of our lives". But sometimes we forget that it could be just a tad bit easier if we werent fighting alone, If we werent pushing away the most powerful fighter of all, GOD.
This writing was about one of the "hardest times" that i went through. At the time (years ago) i felt like that was the end for me, but look where im at now? I'm the happiest i have ever been, I'm SO close to God, and im still alive. There is hope in every situation.
Hopelessness only means your putting God in a box, your limiting his POWER. It means that you do not think he can do the impossible. He can.
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